Q. 225: Gurudev, I am going through a hard time in life. My wife cheated on me but now wants to be back. What to do? Can love develop again?

Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

Yes, certainly. Have a broad mindset. Suppose you were in that state. You made a mistake and you repented it, and you wanted your wife to forgive you. How would you feel if she didn't and held on to it. How would you feel? Same way a mistake has happened to her. Some mistakes happen through you and some through her. Forget about it. Live in the present moment. Give her a chance. Move on to the future. But if it keeps happening too many times, then you can make a decision. If it is once or twice, you should give her a fair chance. If it happens more than three times, then you put your foot down.

I have no experience in this field. I can’t give any better advice on this. So, this could be a suggestion. I don’t know in what way she has cheated you, but it may not be so intentional. Our ‘Art of Living’s’ policy is not to see intention behind others’ mistakes. Once, twice, thrice as much as your capacity is there, you keep forgiving. But then when it comes up to your neck, you say, “No more”.

There was a king who was all the time hurling abuses at Lord Krishna, when Lord Krishna was here on the planet. This Jarasandha was insulting him, and spreading wrong rumors about him. Lord Krishna forgave him not once, twice but 100 times. His patience was 100 times better. But then Lord Krishna said, “I have forgiven you 100 times. I am not going to stop now. I want to finish off you now. I have given you enough room, you didn’t change. The only way is you to be punished”. So, it depends upon our capabilities. Jesus also said to forgive.

See how much patience you have. How much can you take to forgive? Not just your wife but everybody for that matter.

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